The Blog Cabin

The daily discourses of President Abraham Lincoln. Read it, suckas!

Tuesday, November 9

i am able to sustain an election!

november 9, 1864

mood: jubilant
listening to: hail to the chief

woo-hoo! guess who won his bid for reelection yesterday? i'll give you a hint: it sure as heck wasn't insubordinate army commander-turned-politican george b. mcclellan!! that loser only won three states, and they were states i didn't want anyway -- smellaware, new jerkey and kenyucky.

so i'm prez again! boo-yah! for a republican president to be reelected in the middle of a war must mean he's doing a pretty fantastic job of things, dontcha think? i told the newspapers, "i earnestly believe that the consequences of this day's work will be to the lasting advantage, if not the very salvation, of the country," but i was totally talkin out of my butt when i said it. luckily, ever since i gave that speech at gettysberg (sp?), they've been quoting me verbaitum no matter what i say. i gotta start watchin my words more carefully!

mary and i are going to celebrate by getting totally wasted and then doin the wild thing. (the former is a prerequisite for the latter.) perhaps the festivities will be to the lasting advantage, if not the very salvation, of our crappy, crappy marriage. par-tayyyy!!!